You may have heard a famous billionaire say, “It’s not a favor to kids to have them have huge sums of wealth.” While Bill Gates’ stance on leaving a sizable inheritance to his children is quite grim, this is not the case for every affluent family. Most actually want to leave a positive legacy for their children!

As a financial advisor, incorporating a legacy discussion into the cadence of meetings with your clients can help you guide them to find peace of mind. Help them take the steps to mitigate the risks that Bill Gates and other billionaires fear. This is a prime opportunity to show additional value to your clients while engaging with the younger generation.

Besides the obvious value you provide by helping them grow the nominal value of their wealth as they get their affairs in order, the following tips will be useful for you to better support them prior, during, and after the hard-to-have money talks with their loved ones.  A successful legacy conversation establishes clear expectations, communicates values succinctly, and engages all parties invited. That is where you, as a wealth advisor, can become invaluable to your clients.

Handling Expectations

Money conversations are hard. Talking about one’s financial situation with others (even family) can be intimidating and uncomfortable. A big part of this discomfort comes from mismatched expectations. Each party has assumptions. They may be predisposed to certain unconscious money biases!

As an advisor, you can find assertive ways to address the expectations of all the parts involved.

Start with yourself
The goal of this legacy discussion is not to build a relationship with your client’s children. That is a benefit for sure, but the true goal is to nurture peace of mind for your client. 

Your client’s priorities 
Talk to them prior to sending the invitation and understand what they want to accomplish with the meeting. Whether it is discussing numbers or keeping the call high level, it will be important for you to know in advance. 

Beneficiaries who are invited
Make sure that when the invitation is sent out, the expectations are clearly set. Each beneficiary should know why they are being invited into these discussions, what they need to prepare in advance (if anything), what they can expect to see, etc…

Addressing Money Values

Values are the personal north star that guides our actions in each aspect of our lives. When it comes to wealth, our values correlate with how we react and respond to money. As the expert, it will be crucial for you to understand the values of your client and their beneficiaries. This will help you guide them to more effectively reach understanding and consensus. 

A good alternative to gain this clarity is encouraging the meeting attendees to use Brene Brown’s exercises to narrow the scope and pick the two values that are held most important. While some of your clients will identify more with security or financial stability, others may prioritize generosity or helpfulness. 

Examples are the best way to demonstrate new ideas, especially when it comes to understanding money. Once you have identified what values your client holds, outline examples that highlight how those values are represented in their wealth plan. For instance, let’s say your client values generosity: you could enforce it by talking about their charitable donations and bequests they have planned. Your role is to facilitate a safe space for the family to discuss these values, not have all the answers since the beginning. 

Engaging All Parties Involved

Legacy discussions should never be a presentation or a lecture, they are most effective as a discussion. To get everyone involved, prepare some conversation-starting questions that dig into the purpose of the meeting further. Setting the stage chronologically can help clearly explain expectations and guide the discussion. 

Past

– What was your first experience with money?
– What are the financial events you feel have impacted your life positively? What about negatively?

Present

– What values guide your financial decisions?
– What financial disciplines do you find most helpful in living out your values?

Future

– What is your ideal outcome for any inheritance? 
– What hopes do you have for your children after you’re gone?

What The Legacy Meeting Says About You

Putting into action all of the previous tips will achieve two great results. First (and most importantly), it will deliver the functional value you promise as an advisor: using your expertise to help them manage their money with confidence. 

The second one is an emotional value resulting from the first one: it will make your client feel supported by you. It will be a reassurance that you are acting as their partner and really care about their peace of mind. In the end, both will contribute to making your relationship with your client a strong and long-term relationship.